someone owes me an orgasm
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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