if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
