In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Less talking, more tequila
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
