I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
