hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
