How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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