Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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