Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
