It's a beautiful day for a hangover
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
