the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
