i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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