you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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