oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
