My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
smell my finger.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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