if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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