I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
