We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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