Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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