You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it glows. i had to have it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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