Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
