I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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