i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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