ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
