So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
