i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
