so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
bring money and cleavage
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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