So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
