wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
