I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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