he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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