i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
