Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think a kid would responsible me up
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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