we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
