i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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