i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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