Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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