i permit you to call me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
