Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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