i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
