I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He felt like a one man threesome
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
