Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
