Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
