I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
