The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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