I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
