New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Holy sore nipples Batman
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
