It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
