your room smells of hookers.
And success
is wine microwaveable?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
