My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
