So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
