He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
