Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
