living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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