Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the day after is always just damage control
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
