The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
