just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize