It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
