so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
