If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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