Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
