girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
