we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize